Entangled by unrighteous ties

Are you entangled by unrighteous ties? Are you being held back by invisible cords? It is possible that we are kept from fulfilling our purpose due to ties that hold us back.

In our previous article, Relationships – Ties that bind, we studied about relationships, particularly our relationship with YHVH and marriage relationships. We learned about the deep tie that forms when two people become one physically. We also learned that a deep tie forms with whoever we attach ourselves in this intimate way. These ties, outside of marriage, are not according to YHVH’s plan because He prohibits fornication, adultery or any form of sexual immorality. This tie also remains even after the physical relationship has ended and multiple ties like this can exist. These ties fracture a soul and prevent him or her from forming and maintaining a meaningful relationship with one partner.

We also learned how these ties can be broken through the authority we have in Y’shua. This knowledge has the potential to restore many relationships.

This time, we will look at other relationships and its impact on us. We will be looking at both the positive and negative impact of relationships, but also at how relationships are part of YHVH’s design for us. A relationship can be a blessing or a snare and we are to be responsible in our dealings with people, both physical and spiritual. We will go into this in more detail later.

Ties that bind

Ties form as a result of different relationships and sometimes due to circumstances. Soul ties form through shared emotional or intimate experiences. These ties can be a source of tremendous blessing in the case of righteous ties or a source of destruction in the case of ungodly or unrighteous ties. Unrighteous soul ties form a demonic bridge between people that has the potential to destroy. We need to prayerfully consider the ties that bind us. We may be held captive by ties that formed as a result of our sin or the sin of others.

Proverbs 5:22
²² His own iniquities will capture the wicked, And he will be held with the cords of his sin.

However, Y’shua came to set the captives free and through the authority we have in Him, we can be free.

Luke 4:18
¹⁸ “The Spirit of YHVH is upon Me, Because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, And recovery of sight to the blind, To set free those who are oppressed,

If you have issues with painful memories from your past, controlling relationships, rejection, bitterness, depression or anger, anxiety and fear; changes are you have unrighteous ties that bind you.

In this study, we shall look at different relationships and its impact on us. Two words were used in Hebrew to describe these ties that bind our souls with others. We shall look at the ties based on these two words.

The Hebrew word “qasar”

The Hebrew word “qasar” is the first word we will study. Let’s look at the Dictionary of Biblical languages for more understanding.

This word was used to describe three types of relationships: friendship, a family bond and a conspiracy.

A familiar friendship in Scripture is that of David and Jonathan.

Friends

In the case of David and Jonathan, it is written that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.

1 Samuel 18:1
¹ Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.

This friendship between David and Jonathan was special. They made a covenant; they became brothers in a sense.

1 Samuel 18:3
³ Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.

1 Samuel 20:17
¹⁷ Jonathan made David vow again because of his love for him, because he loved him as he loved his own life.

Jonathan was loyal to David and warned him when Saul wanted to kill him. They drew strength and encouragement from one another as we do with a pure righteous friendship. Y’shua described true friendship as follows:

John 15:13
¹³ “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

Solomon also wrote about friendship:

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
⁹ Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. ¹⁰ For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. ¹¹ Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? ¹² And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

We need friendship. We were created to have friendships with people to support us, encourage us, but also to sharpen us.

Proverbs 27:17
¹⁷ Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.

Righteous friends are a blessing from YHVH and are to be treasured.

Family

Of Jacobs relationship with Benjamin was written “his life is bound up in the lad’s life”

Genesis 44:30
³⁰ “Now, therefore, when I come to your servant my father, and the lad is not with us, since his life is bound up in the lad’s life,

In the case of family it is easy to understand, because family members share their lives with each other, or grow up together as in the case of siblings. They share each other’s ups and downs. For this reason, family ties are very strong. In both friendship and family relationships an openness or vulnerability is shared. It is through this that the tie forms.

I found it fascinating when I discovered that the word also includes the meaning of conspiracy.

Conspiracy – Sharing secrets

2 Samuel 15:31
³¹ Now someone told David, saying, “Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom.” And David said, “O YHVH, I pray, make the counsel of Ahithophel foolishness.”

The tie that binds people involved in a conspiracy is in sharing secrets. That creates an openness or vulnerability and a soul tie forms.

One example of such a conspiracy is gossiping. It brings someone else in disrepute with others and cause them to be pushed out by the group. The secret ties people together. You may have seen people forming a “clique” in a greater group. This may be harmless, but not always. There is something that draws them together, if that something is gossip, it is to everybody’s detriment . The inner circle of a group is another way of describing it. This inner circle can actually be a cesspool where gossips gather.

Whenever there is a conspiracy, harm is done to someone. In the case of gossip it affects the gossiper, the one who listens to gossip and the one who is gossiped about. The gossip is a snare the gossiper’s soul uses to control others.

Proverbs 18:7
⁷ A fool’s mouth is his ruin, And his lips are the snare of his soul.

People are controlled by gossips, it is due to this tie, described as a snare in Proverbs. The people who share or listen to the gossip are under control in the sense that they are to be careful what they say or do to this person, knowing that a similar lot will befall them if they fall out of favor.

The best advice is to never get involved in gossip, don’t entertain it. You have to address it immediately, you are otherwise as guilty and a tie will form. If this person still persists, cut those ties and disassociate with them.

Psalm 101:5
⁵ Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy; No one who has a haughty look and an arrogant heart will I endure.

We have written a few articles on the subject of using our words wisely and not to the detriment of others. Here are a few links to some of those articles Weigh your words…. and The Power of Words. You can also read the articles we have written about how we can curse others with our words The Power of a Blessing and a Curse goes into more detail.

We are digressing here, but our point is that sharing secrets in this way can create ungodly ties between those who participate. These ties will draw these people together and the sin will continue.

Any so-called “secret” activity shared, creates a tie with the person/s it is shared with. As examples we can think of secret societies or clubs. Strong ties are formed between the members of such societies or clubs. Be careful of this as it will draw you into something you may not want to be a part of.

To summarize: this word “qasar” communicates a strong association which can be positive as in the case of a deep friendship or family relation, but can also point to a negative association as in the sense of people conspiring together. In both cases, this strong connection is associated with a certain openness or vulnerability. A tie exists in the case of family and forms in the case of friendship or other associations. In the case of a negative association the tie results in control of the other person. That includes friendships and family relations.

The Hebrew word “dabaq”

Another word is often used when referring to relationships. It is the word “cleave” or “dabaq” in Hebrew.

As we have seen in the previous article, this word “dabaq” denotes a strong tie as in our relationship with YHVH and as in a love relationship between a man and woman. Here are a few other examples of where this word was used to describe a relationship tie.

A family tie formed by marriage

In the case of Ruth and Naomi it describes a family tie resulting from the marriage between Ruth and Naomi’s son.

Ruth 1:14
¹⁴ And they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

Ruth 1:16
¹⁶ But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.

This was a righteous tie, but in the case of people living in unrighteousness, a tie like this could result in control. Mother-in-law jokes are not for nothing as popular as they are. Something is often funny because it is true. I think it is for this reason that YHVH said a man must leave his parents and cleave to his wife. It is often not a healthy situation to live together in one house with a mother-in-law or with parents.

Genesis 2:24
²⁴ For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

The word ” leave” is from the Hebrew word “azab”

The man is to leave the former association in order to become one flesh with his wife. There are cases where the soul tie must be broken as in the case of an abusive or controlling relationship. Of such a relationship is often said that he is tied to his mother’s apron strings, meaning he still needs his mother and cannot think or act independently. This is unhealthy when a man is married. This does not mean he is to break off his relationship with his mother, just the unhealthy controlling ties.

One clarification on the breaking of soul ties. This does not always necessitate the ending of a relationship. The relationship continues, but the ungodly ties that bind you to that person is cut off. When unhealthy soul ties are broken, a relationship can be restored within the boundaries of Torah. Only in the case of sin like sexual immorality for example, adultery should physical ties be broken too.

A position of authority

A position of authority can also create a tie. Here is an example of Judah to their king David.

2 Samuel 20:2
² So all the men of Israel withdrew from following David and followed Sheba the son of Bichri; but the men of Judah remained steadfast to their king, from the Jordan even to Jerusalem.

This too can be positive or negative. If the authority figure is righteous, the tie would be righteous. An unrighteous leader can influence people to commit sin. We can give you many examples, but I would not.

A special bond between believers

The bond that exists between believers is that of brothers and sisters. They are of one heart and soul.

Acts 4:32
³² And the congregation of those who believed were of one heart and soul; and not one of them claimed that anything belonging to him was his own, but all things were common property to them.

This connection is often described in the Apostolic Writings as being of the same body.

Colossians 2:19
¹⁹ and not holding fast to the head, from whom the entire body, being supplied and held together by the joints and ligaments, grows with a growth which is from Elohim.

We can also be tied to unbelievers and this can result in influence and being pulled away from YHVH and His ways.

Ties to unbelievers

These ties can be formed in different ways, by friendship or intermarriage.

Joshua 23:12–13
¹² “For if you ever go back and cling to the rest of these nations, these which remain among you, and intermarry with them, so that you associate with them and they with you, ¹³ know with certainty that YHVH your Elohim will not continue to drive these nations out from before you; but they will be a snare and a trap to you, and a whip on your sides and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from off this good land which YHVH your Elohim has given you.

This tie will be a snare, something you are controlled by.

Exodus 34:12
¹² “Watch yourself that you make no covenant with the inhabitants of the land into which you are going, or it will become a snare in your midst.

Judges 2:3
³ “Therefore I also said, ‘I will not drive them out before you; but they will become as thorns in your sides and their gods will be a snare to you.’ ”

We have seen earlier how this snare is a form of control, in this case control by a lesser elohim.

Proverbs 22:24–25
²⁴ Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, ²⁵ Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself.

Paul also adviced against associations with unbelievers.

2 Corinthians 6:14–15
¹⁴ Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? ¹⁵ Or what harmony has Messiah with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?

We are to be careful of relationships with unbelievers. It could be a snare to us that leads to compromise of our beliefs and may ultimately lead us away from YHVH and into sin.

Bondage

Ties can also develop due to certain circumstances. We shall refer to this as bondage. By making a vow, by trauma, manipulation, bitterness and unforgiveness a soul tie is formed that exerts a negative influence.

The word snare is used 36 times in the Tanakh, figuratively referring to that which traps or control.

Psalm 124:7
⁷ Our soul has escaped as a bird out of the snare of the trapper; The snare is broken and we have escaped.

The Hebrew word “pah“was translated with the word “snare”

The word snare describes the control that is brought about by bondage well. It traps us like a snare and it is difficult, if not impossible, to get out by ourselves.

One form of bondage is making a vow.

Making a vow

In Numbers 30:2-16 we find instruction regarding the making of vows.

Numbers 30:2
² “If a man makes a vow to YHVH, or takes an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.

To vow is to make a binding promise to YHVH.

Proverbs 21:23
²³ He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles.

Proverbs 6:2–5
² If you have been snared with the words of your mouth, Have been caught with the words of your mouth, ³ Do this then, my son, and deliver yourself; Since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, Go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor. ⁴ Give no sleep to your eyes, Nor slumber to your eyelids; ⁵ Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hunter’s hand And like a bird from the hand of the fowler.

James 5:12
¹² But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment.

The international Standard Bible encyclopedia defines a vow as follows:

Vows can be made to another elohim as well.

Votive offerings are also vows. In Jeremiah, we read about how the people of Israel made votive offerings or vows accompanied by sacrifices to the queen of heaven.

Jeremiah 44:16–17
¹⁶ “As for the message that you have spoken to us in the name of YHVH, we are not going to listen to you! ¹⁷ “But rather we will certainly carry out every word that has proceeded from our mouths, by burning sacrifices to the queen of heaven and pouring out drink offerings to her, just as we ourselves, our forefathers, our kings and our princes did in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem; for then we had plenty of food and were well off and saw no misfortune.

Let’s consider the implication of all this. If a person had ever been involved in any occult worship, changes are that he or she participated in making vows. I know for example in freemasonry, vows are made as part of an initiation process. Any vows of this kind are to be broken as the maker of the vow and his descendants remains tied and will suffer the consequences of the vow. If a person is made to vow under duress, not to disclose information under threat of retaliation, that vow needs to be broken as well.

Consider this and ask YHVH to reveal any such vows to you. Vows you may have made or your ancestors. We can break these vows through Y’shua’s authority.

Another source of ties is trauma.

Trauma

Severe trauma can hold a person captive. Memories of the traumatic event may cause fear, depression, bitterness, unforgiveness or anger depending on what happened.

In some cases the trauma is hidden deep within the person. Some people cope with severe trauma by creating an alternative personality or personalities. This “alter” takes the trauma upon him or herself and hides within the person. This is referred to dissociative personality disorder or dissociative identity disorder. Some people refer to this as multiple personality disorder.

This will have a severe impact on the person while he or she may not have any knowledge of this or the trauma that caused it. They may have unexplained depression, self-mutilation issues, anxiety and in severe cases, memory lapses, and unexplained behavior or events they can’t account for. An “alter” is created within a person to protect the person from the destructive effect of the trauma. Without it the person would break down mentally or commit suicide. This “alter” enables the person to function in the world.

A person with dissociative identity disorder needs help to heal. The “alter” personality, specifically, needs healing. There are believers with experience to minister freedom through Y’shua to people being held captive by this.

We can also have ties with people we shared traumatic events with. Soldiers who fought together have a special bond and so do people who have shared the trauma of a natural disaster. This can be beneficial in that they can support each other. It is always helpful to be able to talk about traumatic events in order to process it.

Manipulation, Bitterness and Unforgiveness

Manipulation is a form of control that can hold captive. Be careful of manipulating people. Bitterness and unforgiveness is often a result of relationships that go wrong. This makes us captive of these emotions and will negatively impact our other relationships and life in general. We have identified many possible ties we can have with other people, both righteous and unrighteous. We also learned how we can be held captive by negative events that took place in our lives. In order to be free from the adverse effects of unrighteous ties and negative events, we need to cut those ties.

How we can be loosened from unrighteous ties

We can be freed from unrighteous ties that bind us. Y’shua came to set the captives free. It was prophesied of Him:

Isaiah 61:1
¹ The Spirit of YHVH Elohim is upon me, Because YHVH has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners;

Through Y’shua we can be free of any and all unrighteous ties that keeps us from fulfilling our purpose and He gave us who believe in Him the authority to do the following:

Mark 16:17–18
¹⁷ “These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; ¹⁸ they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

We can ask YHVH to reveal these ties to us. When He has, we are to repent of any sin that caused it or occurred as a result of it. We can then cut the ties through Y’shua’s authority and ask him to restore our souls. If we do this in faith, we will be free.

Conclusion

Relationships, more specifically emotional ties, can be voluntary or forced. Forced as in the case of trauma or manipulation, but mostly these ties form voluntarily, we allow it. We also have the choice to come free from that which holds us in captivity of any sort. Through Y’shua we have the authority to break any ties that are to our detriment. It does not always have to be the end of the relationship, except in the cases we mentioned, but gets rid of negative baggage and gives us the opportunity to rebuild the relationship within the boundaries of Torah. We hope this has helped you as much as it helped us. May YHVH bless you in your journey.

References

1. All quoted passages are from the New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update. LaHabra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995. We have substituted YHVH for LORD, and Y’shua for Jesus
2. Swanson, J. (1997). Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains : Hebrew (Old Testament) (electronic ed.). Oak Harbor: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
3. Louw, J. P., & Nida, E. A. (1996). Greek-English lexicon of the New Testament: based on semantic domains (electronic ed. of the 2nd edition., Vol. 1, p. 613). New York: United Bible Societies.
4. Cartledge, T. W. (1979–1988). Vow. In G. W. Bromiley (Ed.), The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, Revised (Vol. 4, p. 998). Wm. B. Eerdmans.